WELCOME TO VJC ACADEMY

You wake up in the morning next to a bag of donuts and a sombrero. As you start to recall how last night went down, you remember something about Felix sticking his head out of a window with his upper lip tucked into his gums. While trying to shake the image from your head, Felix happens to call you and he has X-ro on the phone, three-way. Just so happens X-ro is wearing a sombrero while he’s on the phone with the two of you because he’s spinning at a Mexican wedding. He tells you that X-Man is on a mission with Pudge right now trying to get some donuts before he heads off to rock a party somewhere in the mountains of Southern California. Felix mentions that it’s Monkey-hot in Atlanta and how Trey is down there for a golf tournament and some other leisurely business. Meanwhile, Pudge is on tour somewhere in Vegas learning how to speak Goon as he eats a warm donut from his pocket. Groove and Sum have actually met some real live goons at a show in Brooklyn. They got to link up for a second because Groove is on tour himself, and he passes a can of golf balls that he brought from Cincinnati to Sum for no reason. At that exact moment in Atlanta, Amdex is playing Grand Theft Auto in golf shoes while DT is practicing how to do that lip thing that Felix does when he sticks his head out of the window. It might be confusing to anyone else, but this all makes sense to you….this is the life of a VJ.

In a nutshell, we are a random assortment of comic book characters sprinkled across the country and given some strange psychic connection that keeps us all together and on the same page. That type of connection doesn’t happen over night. Of course you gotta be tuned in to a certain station to pick up the frequency, but then you gotta fine tune it once you pick up the signal. That’s VJC Academy. It’s a concept developed by VJC Founder X-ro, which requires a vigorous training/trial period during which a potential VJ is put to the test and evaluated by any available crew members. How do they vibe with the rest of the crew? Do they have something special and unique to bring to the table? Can they hang through thick and thin? Have they ever seen a monkey? Would they be able to recognize Monkey if they saw him? Do they have a streak of insanity and trashiness? None of this stuff really goes through our minds, it just happens. Usually somebody goes through the Academy without even knowing. The organic way that the crew grows makes it more like a tribe than a collaboration of artists.

And every tribe has a culture, a language and crazy shit that only they peep. As opposed to being all secretive about who we are, we’d like to share a bit of our slang and culture with you… Welcome to VJC Academy:

A HORSE IN THE HOSPITAL

Perhaps the most interesting thing about the crew is the psychic connection we have with each other. We call it ‘a horse in the hospital’. It’s the science of two or more VJ’s experiencing thoughts and actions that lead to uncanny coincidences, completion of sentences, and ‘being in each other’s heads’ without effort, and it CONSTANTLY goes down. We can’t even help it.

MONKEY

This is a key concept in each VJ’s life. Monkey is a spirit that manifested around the Summer of 2000, when The Atlanta grizzled us. At first it just started off as representing the summer heat; then it became something more. Standing stranded on a corner, a car might pull up and ask us if we needed a ride. Mushrooms would grow from the ceiling in a matter of seconds in The Danger Room. A single VJ might not experience any Monkey whatsoever, but when there’s more than one of us in a 5 block radius, it’s a guarantee. A three legged dog might appear from behind a tree. An Informant might stand on the sidewalk and do a dance that’s ‘Just For Us’. There are different types of Monkey (sleep monkey, hunger monkey, beat monkey, etc…). Every VJ has their own type of Monkey which accompanies them and makes their experience unique. But we all see a fuckin’ monkey…

VJ CORPORATE CARD

The corporate card is a philosophy, not an actual piece of plastic. The philosophy is that if you have a corporate card in your pocket, you may not have any cash, you may not have any influence, but you have an infinite credit line that can gain you access to anything you want. It’s virtual wealth. Once you have a mindset of virtual wealth, you become virtually unstoppable and there is no door that you can’t walk through without a flick of your wrist. Apply now…

SHUFFLES

The Restaurant. The Merman. The Depth-Charge. The Mackula. Crash & Burn. The Come-One, Come-All. The Shootout. The Frame of Reference. The Cradle. The Ski Slope. The Puppet String. The ‘I Give Up’. Beans & Cornbread. MechnoPimp. The Paul Beans. These are just a few names for the many shuffles that we have and that we’ll use to take over your dance floor. We don’t care.

COIF

Everybody has hair and a hair style. When somebody takes that hairstyle to the next level, it becomes what we call a coif (pronounced “quaff”). The sweet science of Coif provides hours of viewing pleasure for the whole family. Take a look around you.